Dog jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!
Dead Dog
A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next to the bed
on the floor. He doesn't believe his dog is dead, so he takes him to the vet,
and the vet says, ''I'm sorry, but your dog is dead.'' The man doesn't believe
him and says, ''I want a second opinion.''
The doctor goes into the back and brings out a cat. The cat jumps all over
the dog and bites it and says to the vet, ''Meeoowrr.'' The vet says again,
''I'm sorry, sir, your dog is dead.''
The man says, ''No, I want another opinion.''
So the doctor brings out a Laborador Retriever and he jumps all over the dead
dog and tugs at it and barks at it and says to the vet, ''Rrrrr.'' The vet
says, ''I'm sorry, sir, but your dog is dead. that will be 500 dollars.''
''$500 to tell me my dog is dead?'' asks the man.
''Well,'' the vet replies, ''I'm 100 dollars, the cat scan was 300 and the
lab test was 200 dollars.''